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RANDOM THOUGHTS |
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That fired up a group of Madison Avenue hucksters who coined the slogan, "It Pays To Advertise." Ever since we’ve been subjected to the fertile minds of copy writers who compete with their ideas for the largest accounts in the advertising business to sell something.
Some ads you like and some you don’t. Some sell products and some don’t. Strangely, on television it’s not always the best liked commercials that succeed at selling something. I remember years ago, an advertising agency created two cartoon characters by the name of Bert and Harry Piel who peddled their beer on the tube. Bert who was short and squat did all the talking. Lean and lanky Harry didn’t have much to say being dominated by his loquacious brother. They were lovable characters and people would flip to their channel ... not to see the show they sponsored ... but just to see the antics of the Piel brothers. Faithful followers watched the commercials while sipping a competitor’s beer.
I respond to ads that touch my hot button. But when sales of highly competitive products are lagging, the boys from Madison Avenue resort to worn out standby phrases to boost them. Here are some I’d like to comment on.
NEW AND IMPROVED. I have mixed emotions about this one. Is it really new and improved? Have I been buying an inferior product that should have been already new and improved when I was buying it? Either way I feel cheated.
EXTRA STRENGTH. Usually applied to pain killers, this means they have boosted the pain killing ingredient because the competition has done the same. After all the pain killers have run the gamut of "extra strength" they compete for "maximum strength." Ad nauseam. And if it wasn’t for the watchful eye of the Federal Drug Administration, we could soon take two of these little money makers and not only be rid of our aches and pains but float on a cloud of euphoria all day.
THIS OFFER WILL NOT BE REPEATED. Well,
not in the next month anyway.
WHILE SUPPLIES LAST. Depends on the shelf life of the product and how long the above offer was repeated.
THE ORIGINAL UNCUT VERSION. This applies to a racy story that people have been talking about. It tempts you into thinking you ought to check this out since you probably read the censored version cleaned up for the Girl Scouts. Be careful of this one. You may only think it’s about "Little Red Riding Hood."
A while back I decided to try one of these sales boosters on my wife. I’ve always wanted to go on an African Safari, the thought of which was abhorrent to her. So I pitched the idea again and added, "This offer will not be repeated." Quickly she replied, "Is that a promise?" Nothing much happens around our house.
Published October 1998, Alabama
Prime Times
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